151, Kings Road, London

Where to start, this is the largest black hole of a dungeon in London, and the fact that it is on Kings Road makes it quite funny...The way I see it, is this place must make a killing, the classic clientel who roam the streets have cavernous pockets and the prices of the drinks handed out in this location take full advantage of this. I do not mind paying mad money for well made drinks poured by bar staff who look the part in establishments which make you feel like opening your wallet. However this place is a dingy little cavern, the carpets smell, the music is old school in a bad way, the bar staff are rude and overcharge, the door staff put no effort in and so on...

However on a positive note, I have wondered the streets of London on a Tuesday night many a time, so in fact this place being open saves the night on occasion. Trekking accross the road from Trafalgars pub (pretty smart and large, with a nice little smoking table in the back)... good luck to you and the owners :-)

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5xE4PHhAs4

Drink: badly made jaeger bombs

Type: Raah Raah hole

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: hmm, getting in for free on Tuesdays

Worst memory:being punched in the back of the head by a drunken raah accusing me of nothing and then apologising!

Bar Kick, Shoreditch, London

Short little post, but seriously recommend this if you are anywhere near Shoreditch... cheap and cheerful the Shoreditch way with a difference.. There are multiple foolsball tables set in a "spanish" decorated/tendered environment. Really good fun for after work drinks or a chilled afternoon. There are also a number of comedy nights held downstairs and they make the most awesome Caiprahinias in the WORLD!!! friendly bar staff to boot :P

99 Club, Comedy night, Leicter Square, London

For a chage from the general Friday night of party, we headed to the 99club comedy night in leicter square. We went for the cheaper tickets which meant sitting in non-reserved seating... Somehow amazingly this landed us sitting under the nose of the comedians, in the front row. And as my friends so correctly advised, we were made 1/3 of the act.... Me being south African, and half the jokes being made about race complemented all 4 comedians quite well :-).
For a level of quality I suppose I could compare this to the michael macyntire show currently on the BBC. Forgetting the obvious difference in size and amounts of lights the level of comedy was pretty good, maybe a tad bit overkill on race jokes... However the fact that the venue is pretty tight and the crowd is basically on the same level as the performer, you feel part of the act.

Would definately recommend this night especially if you Are looking for something to do in leicter square, due to the fact the place is full of tacky clubs and chain restaurants!!!

Embargo 59, Kings Road, London

We have ventured many a time to the old embargos, usually by mistake after a few drinks and the lack of wanting to get a taxi any further than kings road! And as par usual we landed up doing the same on this night. After seeing the huge queue that runs up the entrance stairs we decided to go VIP, which can be as cheap as a 120 vodka bottle, which if you do the Maths is almost certainly cheaper than a standard night out, split 3/4/5 ways. The club has recently been redone and is top notch in compRison to the rivals such as crazy larries. VIP room is pretty large and lacking customers, however it is a good place to relax and then hit the main room for a bit of a boogy on the light up dance floor. The outside smoking area is pretty impressive being large, covered and Arabian style decorated. The club closes at a standard 3, so the night is short and sweet...
Once again a safe bet when you have a little bit of £€$ to spend...

Song: pretty dull actually :)

Drink: Bottles of Grey Goose

Type: Raah Raah redone

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: watching the ron fail hard with all of the vip bar tenders

Worst memory:waking up

Tiger Tiger, London

So... I have never felt the enthusiasm that most of the guys I know have for this place, simply because the people here have never seemed very friendly, the kind that push past you and any ladies you are with looking for a reaction. However this visit has partially changed my opinion. On arrival we marched past the crowds on the ground floor up to the dirty top floor for a little bit of (bad) cheese and a little boogy!! Was not overly impressed, as pointed out many a time, this is the place for people to pick up a tourist or one of many beauties (beer goggles on)...

We headed downstairs to what I always believed was the 60's room, but to my surprise they had a pretty impressive DJ destroying the top 40. Which to be fair was pretty good and the vibe was much friendlier (possibly due to the next level everyone seemed to be on in the depths)....

The club is massive, offers a wide range of drinks, notably very impressive Caprihinas, a variaty of "safe" music, a guarantee of fellow revelers both smart and messy and a little fun.

Basically I retract my hate for Tiger Tiger and recommend to anyone looking for some fun, or at least guaranteed "fun" on any night....

Fire, Vauxhal, London

Yes I went to FIRE! After a good douzen times of waiting in the queue for this legendary gay club and being turned down because we "do not look the type", "would not understand", "wearing to many clothes" and of course "not that way" we ventured in to the fog of Vauxhal's, and in my opinion, London's craziest gay club. The club itself was experiencing the same problem which seems to be hitting all of London, possibly caused by the "depression", it was empty!. However in order to cope with the 500 instead of 1200 people they simply closed 2 rooms, which made it come across much smaller but bought back the atmosphere. As with most late night gay clubs this place had an insane funky/dirty/deep house couple of DJ's which made for some good ear punishment. My only problem was that there were not the usual friendly people you find in these places, most people who could see we were not gay gave us the cold shoulder and a few even asked us what we were doing there.

The make up the club is simple, 4 medium sized rooms, each with a slightly varying theme, would say that it is a nice place rather than a smart or grimy place. I would recommend going at least once just to see what it is like, and get a glimpse of the muscle Marys (fucking hilarious), head there post 1AM to get the full experience...

Sonar, Barcelona, Spain

Now this one I would recommend to everyone. Barcelona by itseld is most definately one of the funnest sexiest cities I have been to...and Sonar just makes it even better. This must be one of the most sophisticated and clean festivals there is, with astro turf instead of grass and toilets in the centre of a white walled art gallery. Had to have a sleep before I finished writing this as everyone knows the effect of sun, booze and airoplanes, being split into day time in the city and night on the beach this caters for all, the messier side I believe would be on the beach with the others returning at 7AM... The acts are a mix of UK/US/ES and a few randoms, but overall some good new stuff.... GO and Play People

Thanks Dani

Fusion, Devon, UK - Devstock

So this in theory should be a review about the bumble f$£k club called Fusion. However it has to be so much more, as this is my review of DeVsToCk, the event of the century, the reason we were given this planet to play on and of course the purpose of birth.

Starting with the obvious, this is a weekend to celebrate though majesty Chris Kearny the Last’s yearly (rather than monthly?) birthday. 30 fellow revellers take to the skies, seas and land and make there way down to little Devon, more precisely a place of no name and of huge secrecy….Here these revellers party there socks off for 3 days and nights, involving the precious nectar of Satan (amazing, spell checker made me put a capital S on Satan, I always knew there was something fishy with Microsoft) and the goodness of gods blue skies and green grass…

The pack included his Mighty, The green piper of hard head, who took advantage of gods green grass and ensured happiness throughout the lands… There was also much bread and wine, or in this case BBQ and Vodka for the people…. Devons seaside provided for grand fires to be made by true pyro-professionals, of course this could only be undertaken following a treacherous Hike through the great muddy mountains…

On a clubbing note Fusion was visited, which turned out to be an absolute ball, meeting all the locals, talking about tractors and farmers… J no, it was actually a good laugh, with friendly forgiving staff, a good sized dance floor, hen nights asking us to eat candy underpants off them and hand over our own… Alcohol prices which have never been heard of before and a group of 30 revellers all either being kicked out or landing up back at the mansion with no recollection of what happened post 12am. In the case of the green piper, he did not make it passed 9pm, and feels really bad for this J…..

Thanks CK

Bergkirchweih Beer Festival, Erlangen, Bavaria, Germany

This is Europe's biggest Beer garden, with 11000 seats and a million visitors. It is different to Oktober Fest in that it is obviously smaller and less well known. Hence we decided to visit it, get a little bit of German culture and meet the locals at the same time as beer sampling. The festival is based on a side of a hill with multiple Kellers (cellars) running along the hill, each producing a different type of beer.

You walk around with a Mas (a litre mug) which you pay a deposit on and spend the night getting it refilled. There are hundreds of mad German live bands, doing seriously impressive covers of the classics and the occasional German rant. We were certaing that the bands were also contracted to play some crazy drinking song in which everyone attempts to down their drink, creating a good revenue for the bars.

There is also a pretty large theme park to cater for all ages, we did a long weekend in which we landed up eating Elephant size Pretzels and all kinds of lovely fattening German food. I would definately recommend this to anyone who is keen for a alcoholic break and a bit of German culture involving dancing on tables and covering eachother in beer from head to toe.

To Travel, To holiday or To London

This sprouts from the original idea behind GmanTV, the difficulties and constraints of meeting strangers in London, in which the creator battles his way through the straight cold faces of London's inhabitants, attempting to meet and re-meet new people through his daily routine. My view on his conquest is a simple one, which I am guessing most of you agree with, meeting new people is rewarding and is something we should all strive to do, however London makes this pretty complicated. My standard trip to work on the tube/bus/train involves being in touching distance (no I am not a Freak) of nearly 100 people, and after 7 months of doing this I have only ever spoken to a maximum of 5 people and never gone further than using 2 words. Now going from this situation to actually speaking to someone and arranging a re-meet is leaps and bounds passed my personal comfort levels.

Following on from this dilemma, comes my favourite solution... Travelling. Holidays are always good and we all appreciate a break from the office and some time to sit back and sip G&T's, in the sun or on the slopes, however there is a flaw to this perfect scenario. The average holiday usually only involves meeting strangers when in social areas ie.drunk (I speak from the experience of my friendship groups) which usually leads to short lasting, if not sexual, friendships, which disappear by the end of the night. Travelling is a bit different, most of the time you spend on the beach, in a guest house, climbing mountains or trekking through jungles is done with like minded people all looking to meet strange and new individuals. The overall comfort of the travelling scene may not be the 5* holidays that a lot of us look for, but they are usually much more active and take you to places of the world that practically do not do 5*. The challenges and differences in cultures that are experienced while travelling such as language barriers and physical activities like scaling volcanoes make your group of travelers form a more long lasting bond, with stories to be told in the far future, leading to long lasting friendships, which you do not usually pick up while holidaying.

Originally I thought this was limited to the gap year age (18-20) with my personal experience of a "round the world" trip. But more recently I did a month on the trans-Siberian railway, where I was one of the youngest, and 2 weeks in Fiji, where again the people we "played" with were more of the 25-30 range.

My view is that everyone who has not given it a go, save some dollar and book a flight to anywhere. You can see places you never believed you would go to, simply stay in a guest house and plan your visit on the fly by the word of mouth of the travellers and locals, once cannot hurt.

Disclaimer: I know that travelling is not for everyone, and I have nothing against holidays, I love them.

Beachcomber Island, Fiji

Now I have named this post Beachcomber simply beacuase this is the little, and i mean little, island that has the biggest party reputation out of all 322 Fiji islands... The place is entirely designed to party and then to cure the after effects the following day. Basically £30 gets you a room in the (fuck fest) open air 77 bed dorm and 3 all you can eat meals. Other than this there is obviously a huge bar with both inside and outside tables and a reasonably sized beach sand dance floor with accompanying sound system (warning: the music is 3 years out of date and will require a forceful being to allow the tourists to plug in one of their ipods). The night begins with a happy hour from 6-7, with coctails and  beer jugs reduced, followed by dinner at 7. Now this means by the time you go to dinner you are absolutely obliterated following multiple drinking games (if you have any spirit at all :) ) and dinner does not really happen/ get remembered. Post dinner are the Fijian dancing games which definately get the blood and sweat flowing. Following this it becomes a pretty standard party house with people passing out everywhere and dancers continuing on until they have no more energy/alcohol to run on. Waking up for sunset and spending the whole day on the beach just in front of the bar all misty eyed and partially drunk is most definately the highlight to this event, and maybe the midnight see swimming...

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVzOGcShivU

Drink: Fiji Gold Beer Jugs

Type: large beach sand island club/bar

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: waking up for sunset still drunk and simply passing out on the beach for the whole day

Worst memory:jumping on coral in the middle of the night (did not matter at the time of course)

Lost Society and Artesian Well, Clapham, London

I guess I will begin this by venting my personal hatred to Clapham, now I have recently come to the conclusion that this was born partially from my absolute hatred of Infernos (as I arrived sober and realised it is a feeding ground for ugly men trying to pick up paraletic ladies) though I may have a different view if I was as wasted as the general population of this little "large" club, and partially because of the distance between central and Clapham. I take back my hatred, I believe it is a great place for people who have recently left uni or who are just starting out in London, providing well priced little clubs and pubs scattered around, with the additional benefit of a nice scenic little London location.

Both of these clubs seem to be pretty good/chilled, packed to the brim with queues but they make up for this firstly at Lost Society by the amazing cranberry coctails which knocked me for 6... and then at Artesian Well, with what I would call some good DJ'ing skills....

REVISIT 13/11/09
So I went back to Lost Society, at an early time of 8PM and realised that the place is actually quite nice and sophisticated, most of the place is pre-booked sections for parties with an age restriction of over 23's, the bar tenders were speedy and even though the weather was atrocious the smoking garden was heaving.... 

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKROlUWkbsQ&feature=related

Drink: Cranberry sock kickers

Type: side by side 2 floor housy clubs

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: having a friendly clapham resident pay my entry on the account of lack of paper

Worst memory:walking back to Pimlico...not cool

Langley, Covent Garden, London

A safe bet... Nice large multiroom club with lots of bars and seating space. Easy to get to and a very predictable night. The place brings in a few biggish names to attract guests including the singer of the song below. Would defo recommend this for tourists, especially because it is in Covent Garden

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HYPoByBF4

Drink: veuve

Type: large geeneric dance club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Seeing mr. I don't want no body singing his insanely bad song live and trying his hardest to look like he was enjoying the experience...

Worst memory: being exposed to Mr.F's toilet destruction

Dans Le Noir Restaurant, Farringdon, London

This is an amazing experience. You arrive at a "bar" , fill with randoms waiting around drinking cocktails. You are given a 4 word menu, red (meat), white(fish), green(Vegetarian) and silver(surprise), you also pick your wine and drinks here. Through a curtained door appears a waiter (100% blind waiter) and he puts your hands onto each others shoulders and then his, and you follow each other through 2 doors and 3 sets of curtains, where you are seated in PITCH black... The rest of the night is basically the same as any other restaurant, you are served bread and your drinks followed by your 2 or 3 courses. If you need to go to the bathroom you have to shout for your waiter. There are no phones allowed so there is absolutely no light in the room at all. Food and wine taste totally different because of your heightened senses and eating and pouring wine become quite slow but very entertaining.  I thoughroughly recommend this place to everyone. At the end of the meal you are shown photos of what you ate (I personally had no clue).It is definately an amazing experience that I would go back and do again, as you are not shown what the room looks like their is still some strange draw to the unknown.

Exeter, Devon, UK- review by Night

This is partly driven by boredom, partly by my want to remember my nightlife at uni and partly by the mass questions I get about the night life at Exeter University. Unlike London, Leeds, Manchester or the like, Exeter is a little city which is practically dominated by the University; hence the locals take the presence of students like paedophiles in a playground. However there are some silver linings to this local hating mini village.

Firstly there may only be a max of 4 useable clubs, but straight out of school or off the back of your gap year, they are exactly what you need (remember this is a bit old…but)

Arena

From my memories I would call this the electric dace club out of the lot, you still get the cheese played and clothes taken off, but it is more dance floor than anything else. With a guest appearance from the backwards imbed Welsh Glenn from BB.

Timepiece

Pub on one level dirty dirty dual level club above, lots of classic music and rugby guys getting naked and pissing with there pants on the floor (aah I get to vent here, I must admit I kind of hung around the rugby crowed but I was not cool enough to eat my own vomit, piss naked and kiss men…how I missed out)

Warehouse

The large club with multiple rooms on the Key (on the river) standard shitty little club, which becomes bearable by the many offers on Alco pops drowning your humanity and vision..

Voltz

The club to be at… hoho… probably the most renowned and changed names almost as many times as warehouse this club has a standard refurbished top level, sporting a central bar and 5/10 seating areas…Night to remember would be Bade’s who gives a shit night where he actually got 3 strippers in….The bottom floor is more like a hole, full of naked men dancing to Baywatch, though credit due, think we all pulled more women in this hole than the rest of our lives hold for us…

Other "clubs"

Rococcos – seriously local yokel, few visits in 3 years were enough and provided for some fun outside the norm.

The Vault – the gayest club on the planet – One visit in a life time is enough – not the usual London good music dancing gay club but more a hole in the floor with sleazy old men speaking in Devenish bark.

The Lemmy – Awesome amazing student union, being I think the largest “club” in Exeter, but as it is a SU I am not considering this a form of club, however there are many live acts (I got to see Rhazel and put on my handkerchief around my head and wear my trousers down low)

So once again that is my personal view on an alcohol driven industry, I feel I should possibly change this conundrum and review something more cultural...hmmm I wonder...

PS.. Alcohol is really bad for you and makes you do fucking dumb things, so drink responsibly little ones…

WWE @ The O2, London - a Warning

Chavtastic, a childhood dream come true, but, and a big but, it is unbelievable how fake the fighting is up close (10 rows from the front) and the acting is even worse... Was pretty amazing seeing how large these guys actually are, no steroids my arse, and was even more interesting watching the female wrestlers :) who are massive as well... Overall an interesting affair but not recommended as it really is designed for red necks and children...

Funnies-------------------------------------------------------------------

Pman - "I just saw Batista walk into the staff only entrance, he was so short" after doing some research I found out he is 6"6 and weighs 130kg......Pman you wanna tell us something?

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Me - "Mate I am glad I did it, though it's one of those things you do and never ever do again"
Pman - "Well now is the time to tell you this is my second time"

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Crimson Fetish night @ Club Hidden, Vauxhall, London

OK, so finally my quest to make an interesting blog has taken me off the standard Radar and led me to a launch night of a brand new FETISH club [{CRIMSON]}...This is not my thing at all, however I have a dangerous view that everything must be experienced once...

It began at a Munch (Kinky peoples term for a gathering of like minded people) where the general topic of discussion was S&M, Costumes, Latex, toys... all pretty crazy to me, but standard for these people. following this it was onto the club with everyone turning up dressed normally, however carrying very large costume bags...There is a "girl bitch" who decides who can come in and who cannot, as we were dressed in suits she decided we would have to take off our trousers or tops... so we nobly voted to go topless.. The general dress was costume, including old men in leather thongs / full PVC gimp suits, ladies and men fully nude and people (man/woman not sure) with metal armour on parts of there body. Everyone within the club was very accepting to us "vanilla" folk, and there were no highly strung people causing problems anywhere, hence we remained quite happily until 4am.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE EASILY FREAKED OUT

The first thing we got to see was a 6"4 man have a butt plug with horse hair coming out of it inserted into his rectum by a doll... this quickly set the tone for the night with our eyes popping out of our heads.

Within the "dungeons", which there were about 4 of, there were various displays....

• ropes - the art of tying people up and usually hanging them from metal frames
• whipping - pretty obvious
• needle play - (the most interesting) surgically inserting needles into the body forming patterns and then joining these needles up with ribbon.

Yup the 3rd one is real, and those were big needles, and were inserted into places you would not think needles would go....we were told the endorphins produced by the pain gives you some kind of super high, and from what we saw, I think they are right.

Overall was a very interesting night, and good to experience, well view, what some pretty nice people enjoy. The overall club is pretty impressive to.

Drink:Bells Whisky

Type: Fetish

££$$: £££/£££££

Oddities: having my nipples twisted by a 60 year old lady on the door, having a hole bitten in my arm by Jame's acquaintance

Best memory: not really best, but more interesting to actually see this in real life not just on TV, no harm done.

Worst memory: thinking the butt plug situation was happening to a girl, and then having the harsh reality of a man having a horse tail planted....

Bar Music Hall, Shoreditch, London

Second time I have been to this joint, and both for live music, except this time it was to see Beni Giles Live who put in an awesome performance debuting two of his new singles and his music video for stranger... the location is pretty aweosme, and the bar is pretty impressive, with a mass amount of beers on tap and bottle ranging all the way up to 10% beer... friendly staff with some humerous attempts at making out of this world strong shots.... On busier nights the windows are blacked out and a double sound proof door come into play, as it gets pretty hectic with lots of dancing, however the layout of the single room central bar works well and lets you have whatever kind of night you want to...

Song: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZSto

re.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=307108472&s=143444

Drink:10% Belgium beer with a name beginning in M - oh my dayz

Type: large bar dance hall

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Seeing Caspars smile when his brother put on his official music video

Worst memory: cleaning the sink fill of soggy popcorn and pouring a new cup of tea on my naked foot

Southernpickle.com

southerpickle.com is a blog which follows an XL “mad” public school boy who is travelling a large part of the world over 5 months in his year directly following his school career… The personality of this Space Monkey, lively, alcoholic and overly confident, should make for an interesting if not very cringe worthy read. I would take a guess at it being comparable to a Skins / Inbetweeners season out of school, at least for the members of cast who involuntarily make you fall on the floor in stitches. As this entry is being written, there is currently only a picture of the hillbilly himself, but I am sure as the days tick on after his flight out of London on the 15^th of April it will liven up and produce the standard set of scary truths that the youths in this elite category of teenager experience, while blowing off all the years of strict discipline imposed upon them by teachers and parents alike leaving behind a well “rounded” man…We shall see….ha-ha good luck dude!!

Pimlico, London, a personal view

Having a quiet Tuesday morning after a partially hectic Bank Holiday in which a couple of us Pimlico residents decided to test the afternoon sun in a few locals… Was questioned rigorously outside a same sex bathroom about what exactly there is to do in the land of Pimlico, as it is not a very obvious in your face kind of place, I attempted to explain but got stopped half way through as the queue for the bathroom was manic and the couple decided to enter together lol…So here is my attempt at explaining what there is to do in Pimlico after living there for two years…

To start I would say that the area of Pimlico is kind of split into 3 sections, each very different from the next. The nicest area in my eyes would be the area closest to Victoria, consisting of a few little shops and a multitude of ¾ out 5 star restaurants… here there are also a number of old school pubs and a hotel bar… Next would be the area located along lupus street… We know this as the dodge area, fill of school kids…not much here except quite a nice restaurant/bar called goya..

Finally there is the area located alongside Vauxhall bridge.. here there are a number of pubs including the Swan, quite a new age pub with ok food, the Gallery, supposedly gay old school expensive pub and then a couple of dingy pubs not really worth listing…

Basically there is not much in Pimlico it just provides for a nice quiet living area, very accessible by tube/bus/taxi to the centre of London…

There are also interesting places within walking distance such as Pacha, amazing 25-35 house club, in Victoria which is awesome and then the Young’s bar under St George Wharf, which is an awesome Thames side bar with a huge amount of space, and for the more mature...Tate Britain

Supper Club, Istanbul, Turkey, Europe

Little bit on a very European style House club underneath the Bogazici bridge (the massive suspension bridge connecting Europe and Asia). This one was a classic Turkish "Rip the Tourists off", the second we turned up at the door we were told entry fee was a table, meaning purchasing a bottle of VoddyK, after copious amounts of red wine, shisha and raki... Ps. this is not a good combination, we are still stepping on planet Pluto and it's 5pm the following day. Pretty awesome club, consisting of a 2 rooms, the outer sactum being a simple square room with a bit of foliage and not much else, though the main room was pretty impressive. It has a standard section with a vibrating floor and then a huge stair case with little levels coming off each side with more expensive tables and huge white bed seats leading up to the roof. If you go to Turkey and want some fun check this out, the bottle was pretty cheap at £100 and the waiters do a good job of running from table to table with free sex on the beach shots and fruit platters all night.... My Head KO!!

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKQqL3ewTY&feature=related

Drink:Raki

Type: fancy house club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: feeling the music pulsate through the floor

Worst memory: getting a taxi to Asia at 9 in the morning

La Clique, Hippodrome, London

La Clique, a French sounding Australian presented burlesque circus show, absolutely awesome! Located in the Hippodrome. Involves a lot of crazy mini acts from Dutch magicians to a Freddy Mercury juggling queen, this show will keep anyone entertained, though I would recommend the use of alcohol as some of the jokes are quite out there…Not advised for kids as there are scenes such as a stripping magician who lands up pulling a handkerchief out of her vajaayjaay….Ending in the hippodrome bar drinking with the cast is a good ending to the show, with costs ranging from £15 for standing to £45 for Posh seats with table service.

Beni Giles

Beni Giles has been making, playing, singing music since he was prepubescent. He has come out with a large number of “products”, including his own version of summer rock in the form of Paisley Grammar. Now he has his own new poppy sound in the simple form of Beni Giles, with the iTunes available track Stranger…While he battles his way through ;music domination he seems to leave a trail of quality work in his wake, and my personal view is he will eventually find the thing that will take him to the silver lined stars!

Disclaimer: This plug entitles me to a phenomenally large percentage of all gross sales across the board :P.

Fabric, Farringdon, London

What an amazing club and night… After living in london for 2 years and experiencing clubs that this place inspired I finally made my late night ass over. Huge place with massive queue until about 2am, when we arrived… straight in. The big names seem to be hugely attracted to this place, giving us the luck of seeing the most outrageous chemical brothers set, sitting under their noses… We all agreed that we would be back and that this place is still going strong, unlike the Egg and the RIPPED cross and end…

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0C7NhXffKw

Drink: Rasberry Martinis which never actually happened

Type: Massive electric club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Standing underneath the chemical brothers at 4am

Worst memory: losing the mighty caspar and hurtley to the old man syndrome of sleep

BokBar, Covent Garden, London

Loving the authenticity of this small underground South African bar... featuring all the SA booze you can think of, very cheap boerewors meals (around £6 a meal) happy bartenders, live music on occasions... It is just a nice get away from the standard covernt garden practice..

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNStVlJWy88&feature=related

Drink:Windhoek Lager

Type: South African Bar

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Biltong

Worst memory: Losing a £5 note to the wall...

DapperMag

This Totally free online mag has just been released and has very similar qualities to a loaded/FHM, though on a slightly shorter basis. The mag is delivered online in a PDF style and can be viewed anywhere all you have to do is go to the site and add your email address. COntains car reviews, models, restaurant reviews more models.... Very impressed!! Click it up.. perfect for that random 30 minute read...

DapperMag

Five and Lime, Guildford, Surrey, UK

Love this place, visited Harpers club and Legion club on the same night, but they have been dominated by this little secret. More of a bar than a club, with Live DJ's playing close to cutting edge new House music, with an awesome interior and a very large live DJ garden.. Heated in Winter... Door policy means that you need a girl for every boy to get in and that the place is full of your standard guildford bleach blondies... the manager has a similar policy for the bar ladies, and hence they are all very skimpily dressed and standard blonde....

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SPImLfwKcY&feature=channel_page

Drink:Double Vodka Red Bull

Type: House Bar

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Rocking out under the heaters in the garden

Worst memory: leaving and heading to Legion and then harpers

Electric Bird Cage, Haymarket, London

I must admit this was a good night and quite an impressive little club. It was very multicultural, with most attendees being of international descent... Nicely sized lounge area in one room and then a smaller but more spacious dance floor area in the other room. Good, close to commercial house and pop music, from live decks....very nice cocktails setting you back £8 a pop!! overall an impressive little spot, however it did get jam packed, guessing its location does not help this

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttcboE1GrNg&feature=channel_page

Drink:mohito

Type: standard upper market dance club

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: sitting back sipping away on a lie down sofa watching the world go by

Worst memory: Losing the Iphone

DownGrade

OK! So I lost my iphone £391 for a replacement! and the number 3 comes in 3 months!

I Have decided to downgrade to a piece of poo nokia, and I shall report on the differences, trying to explain my long laslove for all in one technology, and exactly why the iphone is GOD!!!

Be back to report soon...

ELECTRIC BIRD CAGE CAN SUCK MY IPHONE ASS

I have now been using my OLD SCHOOL NOKIA for 3 days, in which it has been to work, clubbing and across 3 hours of public transport...

as it is pretty obvious what it is actually lacking (camera, wifi, internet, games, mp3 player) I will briefly explain what I have found annoying/beneficial

about the situation without going into these...

Firstly the benefits, amazingly there are some, with new phones people only comment on their cool appeal for a month, with old school phones,

the cool factor never dissapears (whether it is a stare of retro or sheer laughter). Without all the connectivity such as facebook twitter

email, you save a lot of valuable time usually wasted on these sites, as you simply cannot access them. The battery lasts 11 days compared to

11hours, and when they drop they really do bounce...

The sad side is simple, I cannot blog, surf the net, watch porn :), listen to music, take photos, be digitally sociable, chat, set multiple alarms,

link to my google calendar...

Now the simple question is, what to do....

Public Transport Madness

Disclaimer: this is where my mind travels to after multiple 14hour working days and mass amounts of stupid O'Clock mornings : only try these in 3rd world countries.... they are bad and stupid

Bus skittles
Inspired by IBMer Mez, this involves boarding a bus during rush hour and taking a spot standing centrally amongst the crowd. With thou hands strongly forced deep inside thou pockets allow the motion of the bus to lift you in any direction it desires, throwing you into your fellow journey men. After a few minutes and many unhappy faces, lock eyes with the worst stare and pull your hands out, which have been covered in bandages and say "I am human to".

Bus rocket
This is very similar to the above, except here you need to board a much emptier bus with a couple of your comrades. Once positioned near the front of the bus ensure that one of your friends is secretly forced to stand in the middle, holding onto at least one bar. When the bus takes a large grunt and pulls off at speed, smack the hands of the central victim and see how far you can get him to fly down the bus....

The open endness to these games allow for many variations in rules and scoring.... Alcohol may assist in this.....

gManTV - review

Once again another plug.. This blog follows one of the most "out there dudes" I know. He would gladly speak to Hitler about the weekend rugby score, hence I guess why he is running this blog all about speaking to randoms scattered mostly around London and currently mostly young ladies (though he assures his readers that this is all changing). So if you live in London, or just feel like picking up tips by following a blog on the thing most of us find almost impossible to do, hit up gManTV.com

Disclaimer: this site is in it's very early infancy, I would describe it as a zygote at present...

Www.gmantv.com
Ps. Zygote: a fertilized egg containing all the DNA information to make a baby. (gross yes?)

the pic:The man himself, with his Big boy Trusty steed and his little Moped - I can see why you get funny looks on the way to work...

Public Transport Book Review

The original reasoning for this blog was to attempt to improve my writing and spoken word. After 2 weeks it became a written account of all the drunken wild nights me and my comrades embark on... This is what I would call a "fail"....
So to partially keep up with my original attempt I picked up reading these mad things called books, they have come across like movies and possibly even TV shows, except they are much more portable and seem to last much longer, not to mention the fact these mysterious blocks of pulped tree do not require the need of a download.... So here is my first book review, which covers the last 3 months of tube rides.....

A little history of the world.

This came about from my clear lack of general knowledge and my pure hatred to the entire subject of history....
This book is basically a hugely abridged version of world history ranging pretty much all the way back from the dinosaurs up to our lovely 90's. But the detail comes through from about 3000BC.... The author did such a good job that this book has been translated into more than 50 languages, originally written in German!
This book truly is amazing and kept me entertained for hours on end... Mr.Owen from standard 7... If you had used this instead of all those highs boring text books you may have not been bullied so much.

Seat grabbing: $$/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $$$$/$$$$$$
Imagination flow: $$$/$$$$$

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Little_History_of_the_World

KEY
$: bang for your buck

Seat grabbing: the need to ignore the world to get back to your book.

Brain stimulation: the amount of facts/general knowledge/history.

Imagination flow: the level of description leading to your imagination creating a different universe for your mind to live in for the duration of the book (my imagination is pretty hectic, so probably knock a off.

Spud.

This book is in fact written by a south African, which I am guessing may atop a few of you reading this about now.... But for those of you who are still here, this is amazing, especially for anyone who went to a public boarding school in the UK, or the equivalent private south African boarding school out in the sticks..

Basically spud is like 13/14 (dark I know) and the book follows his pretty standard life through his first year in high school... It works on about a laugh a minute, and considering if you are like most human beings, that is a lot more laughs than you would get out of any movie, yes even 'anchor man' you absolute losers :)...
There is a second book coming out in may, and I have already pre-ordered that bad boy on amazon.
This book is hilarious....

Seat grabbing: $$$$/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $/$$$$$
Imagination flow: $$/$$$$$

Watchmen

Yes just like the movie... Except this is what the movie was based on, a times top 100 novels of all time top 10 stander, and it's a graphic novel... That's like a comic book except with much more detail, and in this case quite a few full book style pages integrated into this caped hero story through the streets of the mid 50's.
I have been told this has ground breaking drawings by my graphical informant casparoni.... And it most definitely has a very entertaining, back to your childhood imagination, story line....only a 10th of the way through, but have heard very good things from my geek squad. Aka IBMer Mez.

Seat grabbing: $$$/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $$/$$$$$
Imagination flow: $$$$/$$$$$

Chasing Che

Yup this is all about Che Guevara, well at least his motorcycle journey through south America before he became the infamous che.... This follows some dude tracking his history and the discoveries of taking a personal journey across south America.
I would suggest this to all south American fanatics, especially if you are thinking of doing this kind of thing. Ches personal diary is obviously very interesting, but this tackles the problems of carrying out this task in today's world, while following Ches and his comrade's diaries for the historical experience....

Seat grabbing: $/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $$$/$$$$$
Imagination flow: $/$$$$$

DNA GENES

I suppose you could call this a plug, but these guys make the most awesome T-shirts, that you can be sure of being unique wherever you go!!!!! good stuff

http://www.dnagenes.co.uk/

Kitts, Sloane Square London

Nice Little Joint right next to Sloane Square station, after pre drinks at Aragon house and steet fighter drinking, I can't remember any of Kitts, except that it was quite smart, generic house music, impressive coctails, and well located :@P

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2FoWK-R9oI (not cool)

Drink:Absolut Bulls

Type: Raah de Raah

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory:Kicking Caspars arse at street fighter (can't remember Kitts)

Worst memory: Waking up with the oven on and a pizza on fire